okay, this will be my last update before i go to London with my mom. And thats gonna be on Monday (!!!!) I'm sooo excited and i'm afraid we don't have the time to see everything xD
but my top 5 places i wanna go/see:
1. Camden Town
2. Tower Bridge
3. Westminster Abbey
4. Royal College of Music
5. Greenwich Park + some garden(s)
+ the older buildings like castles etc.

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btw, Ziva (from NCIS) she is okay. She's nothing like Abby or Kate but she guite funny. at least sometimes..

AWWW!!

I'm in love.
Or.. I wouldn't say it's very realistic to say that but i really am. Abby (from NCIS) she's just the cutest person ever. Pauley plays her character (Abby) so well!!
Why I always love someone who's fictional???
I've put my hair just like she does, for like a month now (pig tails btw). And the lipstick too. Even thou I almost always wear black or red lipstick anyways.
but my friend said I have become Abby fanatic ! that is so not true... at least completely.
cos i love Kate too! I'm still sad that she died. She was just hilarious sometimes. xD
(i haven't watched seasons 3-6 yet so i don't know Ziva very well, but i'll update when i do know her character better.

yaaaaaaaaaay ! my test week is coming...and it means that after it, i'll have my holiday, and that means that i'm going to LONDON BABY!  2 weeeeeeks left !! i CAN'T wait. I wanna see Camden Town's hottie goth chicks :3 my mom will probably sleep during evenings/late nights (she's a sleepyhead) so i'll have plenty of time explore the culture xDD

Btw! My mom is really annoying me right now. Every Saturday/Friday or/and Sunday i visit her, she takes me to pizza/MCD/Subway.. or some other kinda restaurant cos she wants me to gain weight. At first i thought it was normal, but ...i've realized it's not normal to take me out to eat 3 times a day. I mean, GOD, i've never been a huge fan of fast food but this is the first time i really wanna puke everything i eat. Is it too much asked to get a fresh salad JUST ONCE? I mean, i DO know i am a little underweight right now but it doesn't mean i'm on a diet. (BESIDES, i have gained nearly 9 pounds already and i think its enough)
....i've announced my mom that i'm not gonna eat any fast food in London even if she insisted. I want something flourishing.

1. NCIS - i just love Abby/Gibbs. (^ check my avatar). This couple is just so... unlike match. She's young -and also a little childlike- goth girl who's into science and he's older- maybe a litle serious and stable- agent. Who wouldn't love them?? And Abbs is just so cute!!

2. I just watched the first ep of bones.Twice. It was really good but awkward. There was some really cute moments thou.

3. My eye is feeling better today, i see almost normally and i'm very grateful!

4. My angsty-whining- blog has been a success. I've updated it almost daily and I have received 8  friends requests after my latest update. I guess people want to read that other people suffer too

okay.  this week has been the worst week ever (so far). i woke up around 8 am on Tuesday, wondering why my eye was so blurred and painful. few hours later i couldn't open my eyes AT ALL and i couldn't see anything when i forced them to open. so i went to the clinic and it took an hour to get there without help. after being 4 hours at the clinic they sent me to a bigger hospital saying i needed a surgery. so i waited another 4 hours there and finally the doc said they wouldn't operate me cos i'm too young. then my sister came and walked me outside the hospital where my dad picked me up. so now i've been nearly 5 days, in my old room just sleeping. thank god i got my sight back today, even thou everything is blurry.  ( oh, apparently i had a huge wound in my iris, and that was the reason it was so painful and dangerous) i will not take anything for granted !!!

I'M SO FREAKIN' ANNOYED! I'M SORRY I'M WHINING BUT I'M SO ANNOYED. ok, maybe i'll tell u why before i start screaming till my head explodes!

fics.
M rated fics specially.
I reaaaaaaaaaally love them, and i reaally hate them.. u know??

ok. i'll tell u why i hate them right now.

well, they usually start very well and all BUT when they get to the point ......... ( u know, naughty sex! xD ) ... either of the characters ask: "are you sure about this?" ( or something else lame.)  GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. that is lame!!!!!!! guys, IT IS L-A-M-E. maybe not in real life but in fics...GRR!  i totally loose my interest after that. I AM SURE. when the whole scene is SUPPOSED to be very PASSIONATE, all the talking and "are you sure about this?" questions ruin the whole thing!!
body language doesn't need talking.

but there's good M rated fics too. and i'm very happy when i find one <3 there's some really talented writers online, i can't even believe it.

so we're going to London!!! YAY! my mum paid the flight/hotel yesterday ( i think).  I'm so suprised my mum wanted to take me abroad AND pay everything for me - when i have my own life and apartment and everything. I guess it's cos i'm still under 18 and legally under her protection or something.
..but.. i don't really care who pays..cos I'M GOING TO LONDON!!!!! and the hotel is in the center of London city. I'm so excited !!


btw. i cycled 100 km yesterday ( like 63 miles.) i'm exhausted. -.- that was just too much for me.

My mum said she's taking me to England later this autumn!!  She hasn't booked anything yet but i said i wanted to go. I've always wanted to go!! I'm so excited!! I can see  the bones filming places and everything!!

yaaaaaaaaaaay!

LONDON, here i come! (maybe xD)

long time no see.

there's few very random stuff i want to say:

1)


^ this is a very beautiful song. it made my heart beat full-speed when i first heard it. i have no idea why. i love you.. piano <3

2) in the past few days, i've only listened to classical music. i dunno why but it makes me kinda dazzled. heavy metal too, of course, but it's different. (yes, i know i'm odd)

3) i saw a girl today and she had a violin on her hands. i wanted to dance with her.

4) i've watched true blood S1 and 2 this week. i have no life. but vampires,fangs, blood, biting... i find them all extremely fascinating. it's intensive.

5) i have a photo shoot tomorrow. i'm gonna wear the darkest and weirdest outfit i have. even thou i only have black clothes.

6) i'm gonna dye my hair bright red. people think i'm scary cos of my black hair.

wow. i haven't updated my lj for a loooooooooooong time. sorry !! i started a blog elsewhere and i've used all my time updating it. anyway, i started to write some b/b ff's and i'm thinking about posting some of them in here. maybe.

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BTW, has anyone watched a short film called "that night"?? i swear, i've searched EVERYWHERE. my conclusion is that it hasn't even been published elsewhere than film festivals. or i dunno. but i'm thinking about sending an email to the producer to ask him about it. the sad fact is just that i can't find his email anywhere either!! please someone help me :< i really wanna see this movie!! and if this movie HAS BEEN published, i really wanna buy it!! no matter what the price is!!!

Emily D. looks so pretty in this trailer!!! but its so weird to see her smoking ;;DDD

i have 4 words i need to say about this: I LOVE THIS COUPLE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFTMPpItsOk

the cutest episode ending ever. ( and the part when naomi says "i love you" back to her)

yes, really random ;;DD

there's not really much going on in my life right now. there's some things in the past, still bothering me.
..........and actually, i think i found a possible answer why i've been feelin' a bit down lately. u know, i've noticed that i DO appreciate the things i have.. but i still would change them to the person i've lost. i'm just not a person who loves materials to death.

i translated a song called Hyvästi (itsemurhakirjeet)... at least a part of it. i just wanted to. i dunno why since it sounds weird and bad when it's translated...

Goodbye (suicide notes):

if you read this letter, i'm already gone
i didn't have enough strength to keep on going,
that's why i left
i wrote, because i wanted you to know
why i left and ended my life
it wasn't good. and it didn't work out.
no one cared to fight with me
just told me "fuck you", like my boss when i got fired
when i first got drunk, my life got ruined
i tried to fix every mess i made
but i didn't make it and i knew it was over
this was no ones fault, and i blame no one
i hope u don't get guilty conscience
because it doesn't matter any longer
i just didn't have a reason to live anymore
i left because i felt good no more
i was complete zero in everything
i just couldn't handle it anymore, everything was just so shit
i just didn't have a reason to keep on going anymore
so try to understand
i couldn't give more than i did
thank you for supporting and loving me
thank you for trusting and keeping me up when the times were bad
i didn't know how could i pay everything back
is it okay, if i protect you from heaven?

this singer is REALLY great. her music is so unique. somehow.





i gotta say, i didn't like her at first but now i just ADORE her music. i love that red hair too. and her style <3

SORRYYY! haven't been here awhile.

i'm so fucking tired of my life at the moment. i wake up at 4-5 am to work, and come home at 1 pm. after that i'm so tired.. sometimes even leave shoes on before going to bed.
and this week, everyone has been bothering me.
4 men asked me out during the week. this way of mine, to be invisible, doesn't work i assume! how can i just tell them.. i am NOT interested!?!? i've tried everything. seriously. the angry look. the cold fish look. walking away. everything. this is seriously pissing me off. now i'm thinking of buying a shirt which says: " I AM A LESBIAN. IF U R A MAN, I AM NOT INTERESTED" lol :---------D i'm just not ready to go out with anyone.

long time no see.

my summer job starts tomorrow and i'm really nervous about it. i dunno why, but i think i'll mess it up someway. + i have to wake up at 4 AM so i'll be there in time. i was supposed to go to summer school but since i got the job.. my mom just said this was more important. -.-

+ i downloaded bones 4x26 ep on my comp, and i watched it again (the online quality was terrible) but then i totally lost it. i swear i went throught my whole computer! i wanted to make some animated icons too :<<

+ my nails are really long right now. i can't even put on my contact linces cos of them. but i dont wanna cut them ;____;

+ !!!

some new pics of emily!! ..quite new at least.these were uploaded 26th of may.

she loooks so great <3

-In these last few months i ate more cereal-and milk products than i usually do. I felt just fine at first but then i had some symptoms which lead me to these 2 diseases. I'm pretty sure i have at least one of them since i'm feeling pretty damn sick. I dunno why i suddenly started to drink milk and eat cerial products more than before cos i was feeling just fine without them. Anyway, if i find out i have coeliac disease or lactose intorelance, i'm totally becoming a vegan. I've wanted to be a vegan for a loooooong time now [yeah, my mom protests!!] so it would be a good excuse to be a vegan. haha.[ maybe the reason my mom doesn't want me to start the vegan diet cos i had iron deficiency anemia when i was a kid, and now she thinks i'll get it back.]

- I'm totally annoyed. And frustrated. And..everything.. its been like.. a week (?) when we had the Bones finale, i'm i'm totally going crazy already! I want Bones back!!! I've managed to rewatch 73 episodes of bones ( S1-S3 and the first 15 eps of S4) and some of them even TWISE. "The Bones That Foam" is the next ep on my list. If i keep this speed on re-watching, tv will make me blind before S5 starts.

i was wondering why most of my dreams end up:
- people kissing or hugging
- in romantic places
- very happy or very sad (losing a loved one)
- someone giving red/or black roses to another
- b/b or me/someone
- vamprires/goths/emo's + fullmoon (xD)
- someone killing himself/herself after losing a loved one
- etc.

... ; DD this is weird cos i can't really AFFECT on my dreams.

+ i was thinking i could make a list about the best moments of my life [like Charlie's "greatest hits" from Lost]. i'm afraid i'll forget. and i don't want to.

(not in order)
1. when someone i loved confessed [after being very nervous]: "i love you" for the first time
2. when i got a letter from the art school i got accepted
3. when everyone else forgot my bday(like they always do), my aunt came to me and gave me red roses [ i totally still have them after many years]
4. when i got my first kiss from the person i really loved ( and it was very romantic!!!*.*) ; D
5. when there was a fullmoon, we went to the pier to look at the stars and we laid down and fell asleep
6.. ok i'll keep doing this later..maybe

... has always been my fav anime! and it always will be!

it's so sad but at the same time, its so cute! and the ending always makes me so sensitive xDD

so, if u like yuri, u should really watch this anime. (total 26 episodes)




..just trying to spread awesomness ;DD